Tuesday nights at Freedom House is “Fusion”. This a tradition for us that goes back to the days when we first planted the church. We would meet together as a body one night a week to do nothing more than worship and listen to what God was saying to us. Teaching usually came in the way of “words” from those in the body, but sometimes we had times of teaching. Time and time again, God has shown us how important this night is to us as a body. Once we start to lose the focus on hearing God and obeying, everything else goes off kilter.
Brian (our head honcho) is speaking a few Tuesdays ago. Brian likes to provoke us on a regular basis. His reasoning is that it forces people to think things through and examine themselves. That, and he just loves to stir the pot. Brian was purposely stirring the pot on some hot topics. One of the topics was Halloween. I’m still surprised to this day how intense Christians get over the topic. Those who are opposed say the holidays had pagan and demonic underpinnings in the early days and we should therefore have nothing to do with it. I respond (usually to looks of absolute disgust) that Christmas was a pagan holiday (Winter Solstice) that we stole (thank you Constantine) and made into Christmas. I’m not opposed to Christmas, why Halloween, which has more or less been stripped of all meaning.
Well, people have opinions. All of them right. Not as right as mine, mind you. As the discussion went on, things were becoming more and more heated. Voices started to raise. People started to shift in there seats, visibly uncomfortable. Some folk were definately becoming upset with opinions of other folk. My opinion isn’t opinion after all, but the divine revelation of God! Just as things were starting to get stupid, Brian cut the discussion off, and started into worship.
For the last little while, the discussion at Freedom House has been about growing up. One of the things growing up means, is living in unity. That’s unity, not uniformity. It means realizing we all bring our own planks to the wood show. It’s realizing that despite our differences, we’re all united in pursuing the same God. As we worshipped, God gave me a picture of everyone in the room wearing dry erase marker boards on their backs. During our discussion period, people got up and began to write things on people’s boards behind their backs. Not nice things either. Idiot. Hypocrite. Holier than thou. Self righteous. Ignorant. Loser. Whiner…and on and on and on. But as we were drawn into worship and met with the divine, everyone began to erase the words they had written down during discussion. The words were written in the flesh and erased in the spirit.
As God moved over the group, those petty little arguments fell to the wayside. We were united in the glory of something so much bigger than us. Worship forever reminds me that I’m a sinner saved by grace. On my holiest day out, I can’t cut it. That’s okay, neither can you. As the Spirit moved, God united us into something larger than opinion. He molded us into the body of Christ and His image just a little more. I’m guessing there will be plenty of pro and con Halloween believers in Heaven. Will you stand and worship next to them? Will you worship with the uptight conservative? The good for nothing liberal? How about someone who was gay? If they opened up to God in worship, genuinely seeking Him, would you be able to stand beside them and do the same? Grab your erasers kids. We’ve got a mess to clean up.
“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Colossians 3:13 NIV
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
Mark 11:25 NIV
“But if you fail to do this, you will be sinning against the Lord; and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.”
Numbers 32:23 NIV
So I’m in service last Sunday and things are cooking. There had been some concern amongst the leadership that we were “losing our edge” as it were. Well, God answered with abundant edge over the next few weeks. Our church freaks people out…and I wouldn’t have it any other way. We’re not doing it intentionally. It’s just who we are…a bunch of Jesus freaks. I’m good with it. During worship is where I tend to hear God most clearly. And He was painting a picture to me about personal sin.
I saw a picture of a person standing in front of a doorway, trying to keep it shut while something inside was trying to get out. The person’s face and sex were blurred from my vision. This is one way that God tells me a word is for everyone around. Often if I’m given a word for someone specific, I will see them in the vision. The person was frantically trying to keep a closet door shut while light poured out of the cracks under and around it. As the person’s panic grew, the door banged and bounced all the louder until the person was flung across the room and light shone from the closet. After my eyes had adjusted to the light, I stepped closer to see a closet covered in bones…skeletons in the closet. Inside the closet was a pile of dried up old bones and a man on his knees. Any guesses? Just like in Sunday School, Jesus is always the right answer.
Yes it was Jesus. Down on his knees in a closet full of buried sins offering to help clean up. Not quite the response some of us were expecting, eh? The person in the vision knelt down next to Jesus and he pulled out a large burlap sack and started to pile the bones into it with the help of the person. When all was cleaned up, the two walked out of the house and down to the edge of a body of water. There, Jesus threw the sack of bones into the water and watched it sink. The vision ended here.
That verse at the start of the blog? I have a confession to make. I purposely used it out of context. Oh, sure, there’s universal lessons to be learned for us in dealing with sin from that verse. But if you read the whole story and the verse in it’s context, you’ll figure out that God wasn’t talking to you and your sin specifically. Which is funny isn’t it? I always assumed that verse was directed at me. I always assumed that God was telling me if he didn’t get what he wanted from me that he was gonna expose me to the world! The way we read verses like this, says more about our consciences than anything else. If you think God is speaking to you, your mind starts to comb through all the crap you’ve ever done and hidden…and it tends to make people nervous. They think God is out to get them. I did for many years.
The truth of the matter is though, God is not out to get us. He just wants us to be honest. Honest to each other. Honest to God. Hidden things do have a way of making there way into the light of day eventually…usually with much pain and embarrasment. It’s healthier to just get it off your chest. 1 John 1:9 says ” If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins…” or another good one is James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed.” That sounds quite a bit different from God the headhunter.
How cool would it be, to be in a church where you could be honest? Really honest. A place where you could come and talk about your screw ups and people would help you instead of hurt you. Christians really do shoot their own wounded and it’s gotta stop. As long as we keep cutting each other up over our humanity and trying to do the holier than thou dance, we’re gonna keep on producing neurotic, fearful, bitter people who think God is out to get them, because that’s how there brothers and sisters in Christ treated them. There’s no hiding your sin. That’s true. But Jesus is in my closet. And he’s in yours too. Waiting. Waiting for you to do some spring cleaning. Offering to help clean up. Offering to throw that mess into the sea of forgetfulness. Offering to heal. If we try to keep that door shut, sooner or later, the door will open and what’s within will be exposed. But it’s not a vengeful God in the closet forcing the door open. It’s us trying to keep the ever growing pile forced into a corner until the door burst open from lack of space. We can’t compartmentalize sin any more than we can God. Confession is hard. I’m a sinner, saved by grace. If you’re following Christ, so are you. That means we should be extending grace to others for their sin as it was extended to us. Love is the highest law.
P.S. For all of you that read the title of this post and assumed I was going to try to “out” Jesus as gay…give your head a shake.
Statistics are a funny thing. I’m a bit of a stat junkie, quoting them endlessly. Half my conversations at home start with “I was reading in the Post today…” The funny thing about stats is they aren’t really facts. They look like facts. They act and sound like facts. But anyone with half a brain knows stats can easily be manipulated depending on the biases of the stat finders. Statistically, the majority of people believe in God…for now anyway. The numbers of people who claim atheism or no religion is definitely growing. Still, in one form or another, most of us feel that life had to be something more than a cosmic oopsie-doodle.
So let’s say there’s a God. Let’s not worry about His name or which religion is right. We believe someone had to be there. We see design in the universe. Human life and the organization of the planet is too complex and organized for us to believe no one is home. That means we believe God created. We believe in miracles. Let’s face it, if life isn’t an accident, and we believe it was made with intent…then it was a supernatural event. A creative miracle. Believers start to get nervous when you move from simple “belief” to miracles. Miracles require a more serious belief. I’ve always found it funny that people believe God created the universe and all that is in it, but have trouble believing their sick Aunt Gladys can’t be healed by the same guy. Apparently the older the miracle, the more believable it becomes and size really doesn’t matter. Statistically most people who believe in God do believe in miracles in one form or another…or believe God used to do them, but grew bored with the whole thing a few centuries ago.
So stay with me here. You believe in God? Check. Miracles? Umm…well… yes I suppose I do. Check. Do you believe God speaks to people? (Pause for awkward silence and then nervous laughter) What…you mean like TALKS, talks to them? Like with a voice, here and now? Let’s face it. We’ve been conditioned to think of people who hear God as the crazy people. Sure, God speaks to us through His word, but He doesn’t talk anymore. He’s already said all He has to say in his autobiography. People who hear God are, a little off to say the least. Well, I’m not denying the fact that I’m a “little off” but let’s go through this again. God is real. He can do supernatural stuff…but He can’t talk. Interesting.
That autobiography I told you about earlier, The Bible says in John 10:27 TNIV “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” Notice how hearing and obeying go together to show true belief here (that one’s for you B). So that book we said speaks for God, is telling me I can still hear Him. In fact, if I truly believe, I’m listening for His voice to speak. That could be part of the problem there. If I don’t think God can talk, I’m probably not spending much time waiting for His call. Belief is another tricky word. Lots of people say they believe, as long as “belief” requires only mental ascent.
I believe in God. I believe in the miraculous. I believe God can and does speak to us today. I don’t think people who hear God are crazy. I do think people have delusions that they blame on God. I think some people want to hear God so bad they make up stuff. Are there nutters claiming “God told me”…well, duh. But I also think that people who believe in an all poweful God who can make worlds and life but is somehow hopelessly mute, need to think things through a little more. I’m really not sure how much of a gap there is in the stats here. I’m going by what I’ve seen in churches and friends throughout my life. People say they believe in God and pray for people when they’re sick but they don’t hear from him…that just nuts. God speaks today folks. Through His word, friends, circumstances, family, nature, media, sex, art and if your ears are tuned…directly. Who knew?
There was an electricity in the air. God was moving and people were expecting. It was, by my reasoning, the way church should be every Sunday. It’s not though. Familiarity breeds boredom. We fall into routine. Same faces, same places. Same walls in the way of growth. We know they’re there. We know more lies on the other side. However, we also know that smashing through them takes considerable pain and effort. I don’t mind the view at all. I’m comfortable right here. Today was going to be different.
From the time our worship band launched, you could feel something stirring. As a group, we were ready for another step. God began to speak to me. That’s right. I hear God. To my knowledge, I’m not insane and the doctor assures me my meds won’t make me hallucinate. Don’t ask me how or how I can be sure, I’ll cover those topics in other posts. Right now I’m in church and God is giving me a picture. This is how he typically speaks to me. I see a picture of a large door and a hand reaching for it. A slimy green liquid is pouring out from under the door. As the hand opens the door, I see a giant tidal wave of green liquid wash over my church. Ok, maybe I am due for a padded room.
What does it mean? I ask God, but get no immediate reply. I continue to worship and the worship becomes repentance. God starts to speak. You should write that order down. Worship, repentance, ability to hear God. He shows me a picture of all he has for our church. It’s big. He then tells me, that I’m not going to receive everything He has for me. Why? Because you haven’t created a big enough space in your life for Me. I’m still sidelined. An important part, but not the most important part. I can’t give you more unless you make room for it. God tells me to share this with everyone as tears begin to stream down my face. I’m pacing at the back of the service muttering over and over again, “My love is not big enough.”
I go to the front and reluctantly share the word. It’s a little weird. God showering us with a tidal wave of green energy drink. Yes, that’s what the liquid was. It was a bizarre picture of the Holy Spirit. The Apostles were baptised with fire, we get this. Who am I to argue? I’m telling everyone about how God wants this to be an upper room moment but most of us are not ready to receive all he has. I tell them, we need to make more room for Him in our lives. I finally open my eyes and look around the room. People are on their faces repenting and seeking God. That’s a good days work for a prophet. God is pleased. People open their hearts and the rest of the service is awesome. God moves because we got out of the way and let Him.
Hebrews 12:11 says ” No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” How we respond to difficulties in our lives determines, to a large degree, who we become. If you’re a believer, and you’re facing difficulties (and you will be) ask God what He’s trying to teach you. You may get an answer. You may get silence. Silence could mean you’re not ready to learn the answer yet. But since you asked, God will be sure to tell you when the time is right. The real question is, will you be listening when He speaks?
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